Senior Citizen Jokes and Fun

60th High School Reunion
     
 He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail.
       This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles. They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high with the widower throwing admiring glances across the table and the widow smiling coyly back at him.
       Finally, he picked up courage and blurted out, "Will you marry me?"
       After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes ... yes I will!"
       The evening ended on a happy note for the widower. But the next morning he was troubled. Did she say yes? Or did she say no? He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank. He remembered asking the question but for the life of him he could not recall her response. So with fear and trepidation, he picked up the phone and called her.
       First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening. As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say yes or did you say no?"
       "Why you silly man, I said Yes. Yes I will! ... And I meant it with all my heart."
       The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat.
       Then she continued, "And I am so glad you called because I couldn't remember who asked me!"

 


Grandma's Visit
       "Oh, I sure am glad to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother (on his mother's side). "Now Daddy will do the trick he's been promising us."
       The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" she asked.
       "He told Mommy that he'd climb the walls if you came to visit," answered the boy.



What's Your Name, Again?
       Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week.
       One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends a long time, but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
       Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"


Hard of Hearing
       An old man decided his old wife was getting hard of hearing. So he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The doctor said he could see her in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a simple, informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the dimensions of the problem.
       "Here's what you do. Start about 40 feet away from her, and speak in a normal onversational tone and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."
       So that evening she's in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the living room, and he says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."
       "Honey, what's for supper?"
       No response.
       So he moves to the other end of the room, about 30 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?"
       No response.
       So he moves into the dining room, about 20 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?"
       No response.
       On to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?".
       No response.
       So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for supper?"
       "For the fifth time, CHICKEN!"